On March 14, 2009, I received the blessing of getting married to my best friend, Jennifer. Our ceremony was officiated by Reverend Annette Mize and held at the Fabulous Fox Theater in Atlanta.
This is the full text of that ceremony.
Except for
- two poems by the Persian poet Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003 (marked by a single asterisk * next to the person who speaks them), and
- the parts written entirely by Reverend Annette Mize (marked by double asterisks ** next to her name),
I am the author and copyright holder over the rest of this text.
Having said that, Reverend Mize and I have decided to share the text of this ceremony with you under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.
This license allows us to continue holding the copyright over the parts that we individually wrote while granting you the right to use our ceremony, modify it for your own needs, attribute the original back to us, and share your changes under this same license. This license prevents you, however, from using our ceremony for any commercial purposes like publishing it and selling it or distributing it in any other way and charging for it or claiming that you wrote it. So feel free to use it for any of your non-commercial personal uses.
Also: if you wish to contact Reverend Annette Mize to officiate at weddings and other ceremonies, her email address is iamrevannette@gmail.com. She is an absolute pleasure to work with, so do get in touch with her.
I hope you enjoy reading this ceremony. And if you have any comments, you can post them here. I’d love to hear what you think.
Rahim
This wedding ceremony is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.
Jennifer & Rahim’s
Wedding Ceremony
March 14, 2009
THE OPENING
Annette
Let it begin.
Let it begin.
Let it begin.
Let what split into two
become one
once again.
FIRST POEM
translation copyright 2003 by Daniel Ladinsky)
Jennifer*
Our union is like this:
You feel cold so I reach for a blanket to cover our shivering feet.
Rahim*
A hunger comes into your body
so I run to my garden and start digging potatoes.
Jennifer*
You asked for a few words of comfort and guidance
and I quickly kneel by your side offering you a whole book as a gift.
Rahim*
You ache with loneliness one night so much
you weep,
and I say here is a rope,
tie it around me,
Hafiz will be your companion for life.
CREATING THE SACRED SPACE
Annette**
We are gathered here today to celebrate the loving union and partnership of Jennifer and Rahim. Why do we gather together to do that? Yes, it is nice to share food and wine, song and dance; but a deeper, more lasting reason for physically coming together is present here. It has to do with the creation of a community vessel which will hold and honor the intention, the foundation, which Jennifer and Rahim wish to build their future upon.
So I invite you now, if you are comfortable in doing so, to close your eyes for a moment. Feel the love you have for these two young souls before you. Feel it expand your heart and chest area. See that love filling this room; creating that vessel which will support and nourish the seed of intention which is being planted here today….
You have been invited to help create something awesome, something beautiful. See it as such and it will be so. As you feel ready and complete in this work, you may open your eyes.
THE WELCOME
Annette
Great Friend, welcome to this celebration of life!
Dearly beloved, welcome to this celebration of life!
Prophets and saints, angels and bodhisattvas,
welcome to this celebration of life!
THE WISDOM
Annette**
(to all those assembled)
This young couple before us; they have made a conscious decision to shift the Energy of their relationship. They have decided to “kick it up a notch”, go a little deeper, expand a little wider.
They are not new to each other.
They are not just starting out, naïve to the challenges and struggles that a dedicated relationship brings. They know that there is work involved in co-creating a life together. Yes, they know, because they have been doing it for a while.
So why bother with all of this grand coming together? Yes, it is a wonderful opportunity to bring friends and family together. It’s a great reason to have a fabulous party. One might say it’s even a great way to do their part to stimulate the economy.
I believe there is something much deeper going on here, though. You see, there is love and then there is LOVE. Many of us are fortunate to find the first and live absolutely wonderful lives with that finding. And that is a positively beautiful thing. But what I believe Rahim and Jennifer are doing here today is; they are saying “We know and Claim the Deeper Love as our right, and we are willing to work for it.”
With this ceremony, and you and I as witnesses, they are acknowledging the existence of, and are calling forth that Deeper, Greater, more Powerful LOVE that is truly available to us all, yet so seldom claimed.
Annette**
(to Jenn & Rahim)
If you were new to one another I might stand here and tell you that there will be challenges ahead and how you might weather those challenges. You already know that. So instead I will say to you (and to your friends and family) that there really are no challenges ahead; only opportunities.
Yes! Opportunities; opportunities to know each other better; opportunities to know better the world you are creating together; and ultimately, opportunities to know yourselves as individuals more deeply and fully.
If that were all that marriage is, well, that would be enough; but it is not all that marriage is. It is so very much more!
SECOND POEM
translation copyright 2003 by Daniel Ladinsky)
Rahim*
Because the Woman I love lives
Inside of you,
I lean as close to your body with my words
As I can–
Jennifer*
And I think of you all the time, dear pilgrim.
Because the One I love goes with you
Wherever you go,
Hafiz will always be near.
Rahim*
If you sat before me, wayfarer,
With your aura bright from your many
Charms,
My lips could resist rushing to you and needing
To befriend your blushed cheek,
But my eyes can no longer hide
The wondrous fact of who
You Really are.
Jennifer*
The Beautiful One whom I adore
Has pitched His royal tent inside of you,
So I will always lean my heart
As close to your soul
As I can.
PROLOGUE TO THE DECLARATIONS
Annette**
Yes, the Deeper Marriage is so much more. It is the knowing that within the other lies The Beautiful One. In fact, it is the learning that ultimately, there is no “other”.
The two truly become ONE!
Annette
In tonight’s ceremony, Jennifer and Rahim will not be exchanging vows of things they hope to do in the future.
Instead, they will be declaring the commitments they’ve already made to each other. So instead of saying “I do,” they will say, “I am.”
The “I am” is always more powerful than “I do” because who you are is always more powerful than what you promise.
And dearly beloved, when it comes time for me to ask you to support this loving union, you will say, “We are.”
THE DECLARATIONS
for Rahim
Annette
(turns to Rahim)
Rahim, are you the one who is committed to Jennifer as your one partner in life, seeking no other while you hold true to one another?
Rahim
I am.
Annette
Rahim, are you the one who is committed to treating Jennifer with kindness, helpfulness, and–above all else–a love grounded in respect?
Rahim
I am.
Annette
Rahim, are you the one who is committed to loving Jennifer in a way that honors and protects her independent spirit?
Rahim
I am.
Annette
Rahim, are you the one who is committed to listening to Jennifer so deeply that you always strive to understand her points of view?
Rahim
I am.
Annette
Rahim, are you the one who is committed to recognizing Jennifer’s potential and supporting her dreams as if they were your own?
Rahim
I am.
Annette
Rahim, are you the one who is committed to holding a vision of Jennifer’s highest good consistently in mind?
Rahim
I am.
Annette
Rahim, are you the one who is committed to always inviting the Great Friend to join you as the third person in this partnership so that you are always supported and blessed by the Source of life and celebration itself?
Rahim
I am.
for Jennifer
Annette
(turns to Jennifer)
Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to Rahim as your one partner in life, seeking no other while you hold true to one another?
Jennifer
I am.
Annette
Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to treating Rahim with kindness, helpfulness, and–above all else–a love grounded in respect?
Jennifer
I am.
Annette
Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to loving Rahim in a way that honors and protects his independent spirit?
Jennifer
I am.
Annette
Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to listening to Rahim so deeply that you always strive to understand his points of view?
Jennifer
I am.
Annette
Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to recognizing Rahim’s potential and supporting his dreams as if they were your own?
Jennifer
I am.
Annette
Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to holding a vision of Rahim’s highest good consistently in mind?
Jennifer
I am.
Annette
Jennifer, are you the one who is committed to always inviting the Great Friend to join you as the third person in this partnership so that you are always supported and blessed by the Source of life and celebration itself?
Jennifer
I am.
for Jennifer & Rahim
Annette
Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to each other as partners in life, seeking no other while you hold true to one another?
Jennifer & Rahim
We are.
Annette
Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to bringing a spirit of joy and laughter to everything you do?
Jennifer & Rahim
We are.
Annette
Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to always reaching for and finding and celebrating the never-ending beauty and magic of life?
Jennifer & Rahim
We are.
Annette
Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to embodying a warm spirit of cooperation at the core of your partnership?
Jennifer & Rahim
We are.
Annette
Jennifer & Rahim, are you the partners who are committed to inviting the Great Friend to use your partnership for a purpose greater than either of you can imagine right now so that it reaches out beyond just you and blesses your friends, your families, and all the world?
Jennifer & Rahim
We are.
for the dearly beloved
Annette
(turns to the gathering)
Dearly beloved, are you the loved ones who are committed to loving and supporting Jennifer and Rahim’s partnership in life?
Family & Friends
We are.
Annette
Dearly beloved, are you the loved ones who are committed to honoring and protecting the uniqueness and independence of Jennifer and Rahim’s spirits?
Family & Friends
We are.
Annette
Dearly beloved, are you the loved ones who are committed to holding a vision of their highest good consistently in mind?
Family & Friends
We are.
Annette
Dearly beloved, are you the loved ones who are committed to creating a community of kindred spirits around Jennifer and Rahim’s children so that they grow up surrounded by warmth, wonder, blessing, belonging, and a deep sense of self-worth?
Family & Friends
We are.
THE BLESSING OF THE RINGS
Annette**
(Annette blesses the rings, speaking from her heart)
MINISTER’S ADVICE
Annette**
Jennifer and Rahim, you are creating with intention a life together, a life formally entwined. My advice to you both is to remember to take time apart from one another to continue to nourish that bigger relationship which is so obviously at the foundation of this relationship. You each have personal connection with the Great Friend. Don’t let this relationship crowd out that one. Seek The Friend daily and spend time in the stillness.
Nor shall you let any other outside relationship crowd out this one you have created here today. Make time to be together; even with careers, even after the children come.
You have made many declarations today. Pull them out on your anniversary and review them. Not together, lest it seem like you’re grading one another; but separately, in prayer, with a spirit of congratulations and with the intention of enthusiastically doing even better in the next year.
You are blessed to have found each other. Hold to that knowing.
THE CLOSING
Annette
(looks toward the four corners and the gathering)
To the Great Friend and all the spirits of love and compassion we have invited here, we give thanks for your presence in this celebration of life. And we ask that you hold this union in your hearts, that you watch over this union like a newborn child, and that you seal this union with your loving blessings.
(turns toward Jennifer & Rahim)
May the blessings of the Great Friend be upon you.
May the blessings of Muhammad and Khadija be upon you.
May the blessings of Ali and Fatima be upon you.
May the blessings of Jesus and Mary be upon you.
[ cue ♫ Coldplay’s “Lovers in Japan” ]
May the blessings of all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas be upon you.
May the blessings of all your families and friends gathered here and afar be upon you.
May your union be a light in your families.
May your union be a light among your friends.
May your union be a beautiful light in this beautiful world.
And as you go forth, walking hand in hand,
may you always laugh by helping others to laugh!
May you always shine by helping others to shine!
By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband & wife, partners in life.
Let there be a kiss!
From Ashley Chambliss:
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.
From izuddin.helmi:
Congratulations on your wedding
I’m glad that you use my idea (the design) and use this blog for the purpose of spreading our religion.
Alhamdulillah! Now I have something to contribute to Islam! Insyaallah.
From Rahim Snow:
Thank you for your beautiful design! One of the many purposes of this blog is to re-introduce the wisdom of Islam as a respected member of the conference of religions, not to spread Islam as the one and only religion.
[Editorial note: this blog has undergone several revisions so the design being talked about here is not the current design of the blog. - RTS 2010-05-19]